There are times in your life when you feel deep within your heart that something feels right. It is a feeling deep within you that feeds your heart with happiness. It is a feeling that you believe in, no matter how difficult, no matter how demanding something may be, you know that it is right. You know you have to follow your heart.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year

This year has brought me to so many places highs and lows.. good times and bad. I have done more, and experienced such a flux of emotions this year. Truthfully, more than I ever thought I would ever know or feel. For those of who know me best, know exactly what I am talking about. I have come to the understanding, and belief that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you may not know what the reasoning is, and may not be able to see it or understand it.

 I have found that in bad times people often say "it happens for a reason" it has become a coping mechanism, a way that instantly gives a grieving person a sense of relief, and a break from the sadness that he/she has had put in them.  When good things happen... people instantly question it..

As many of you know, there was very series of unfortunate events prior to my coming to the decision to adopt Vika. Some people will say, and will always say that my "unfortunate events" is what drove me to adopt her. But I feel that through those "unfortunate events" that is what led me to her.  I know that this may be hard for many people to understand, or to feel. But I feel as though she has found me. There are hundreds  and hundreds of children for adoption. She in fact is one of 30+ children with Down Syndrome for adoption in her orphanage. I can't say that i fell in love with all those kids the same way I did with Vika (there was another little girl... but for now, I will have to continue to pray for her). While I want all those kids to have a home... Everyday, multiple times a day, I thought of Vika. To this day, I still do.

Since making the decision to adopt her. I have made a lot of new friends. While there are people that do not  support this adoption. There are so many more people that are out there that do. Of course not having the support of some people, it does take a way from some of the happiness in the process. But as a good friend once told me. Anyone can have a dream, but it takes a stronger person to follow thru and make it come true. I am so grateful for all my support... my life would not be the same without all of you! I look forward to sharing with you all the adventures to come! I wish you all a wonderful and Very Happy New Year!!
All the Love and Happiness from me to you all!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

How are you going to count your blessings this year? Some people will do it by the number and size of gifts that they receive, some will do it  by the many wonderful people in their life, and all the things in their life they are grateful for. I think that in a way that it is combination of the two. What do you do if you do not have family to have dinner with, or don't get a gift on Christmas morning. For many people in this world, today is a typical day, just like any other.

I have sit sit here and wonder what Vika, and all her friends in the orphanage are doing today. Do they a get a gift of their own? Or a special meal on a day like today? Or is it another day just like any other. For many of those kids in her orphanage, Christmas Day will forever be like any other day for them. But it doesn't have to be. There are so many children waiting for a home, who have the heart to love everyone in their life, they are just waiting on someone to give the  love back.

I am so thankful this year at Christmas. I have family, and I have so many wonderful friends that have come into my life, (old and new), for many different reasons. I am even more thankful that next year, I will have a daughter to share this love with, to share family. Something that she has never known, the biggest gift any one person can have, a family of her own.

I will continue this journey til I have her home, and next year at this time we will be writing about a new adventure in our life. I want to thank everyone for their ongoing love and support throughout this journey.

Merry Christmas!
 Taryn & Nick

Friday, December 17, 2010

Saturday Night At Borders...

This Saturday evening and night I will be at Borders in Concord wrapping gifts for donations!! Come down and gets great winter book, and I can wrap it for you for free!! Hope to see you there!!

Merry Christmas!!
Taryn and Nick

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Your Money

I want to take the time to let everyone know how much I appreciate all that you have done for me thus far! All the words of encouragment, and the time to talk to me about my adopting Vika. To all the people that have supported me financially.

I have to be honest and let you know that this is not an easy thing for me to do, asking for the help in bringing her home.  I have always been all so pro-active about raising money for so many other causes. But when it comes to me, and my personal life. My first reaction was that if I want to be able to welcome this young girl into my home, then I should be able to do it on my own. But the truth is, I can not do it on my own, and the people closest to me have told me that over and over. Adopting a child is a very costly expense. The support that I have got from so many people, my friends, and people that I have never even met, I am everwhelmed with gratitude!!  So many people are on this journey with me in supporting my bringing Vika home.

I know that sometimes it is hard to part with money that you  have worked so hard for. I know this first hand, as I work a lot myself to provide and give Nicholas the life that I dream for him, and want him to have. But I want everyone know that no amount is too small, and every last bit makes a difference. When you support me with your kind words, or with money. I am very grateful. It is the support and the love that you have all shown for me, and for this little girl that I know that for next Christmas she will have a home, a brother, a mother, a family that she has long deserved after spending over 5 years in an orphange.

Thank you all for everything you have done thus far... I can not begin to tell you how grateful I am.

I still have just over 100 tickets for the "giveaway" for the 32' flatr screen TV to sell. If anyone is interested, please click on the Chip In button and you may have a new TV just in time for Christmas!

All the love in the world, back to you all...

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Hope Pearls... Just in time for Christmas

A few days ago I got an amazing selection of Hope Pearls. I have a variety of Hope Pearls that came all the way from China when a woman was there meeting her 2 adoptive children. They have since been passed onto me to sell them in Hopes to make my dream of adopting Vika a reality. I have sold 3 necklaces already... and these pearls as beautiful! Get your pearls necklace or earrings in time for Christmas. They will have a special enclosure about my adoption, and they are limited! With a $50.00 donation a special necklace will be picked for you! With a $25.00 donation, a special pair of earrings will be picked for you! Will be shipped to you immediately! A beautiful gift, while giving back to give a child a home! You will not be disappointed!
All the love...Taryn
*** when donating through Pay Pal just be sure to enter your entire address***

Thursday, December 2, 2010

All the Support!!

A HUGE thank you to everyone that came out tonight and supported Nicholas and I tonight at Pizzeria Uno! The staff was great, and Nicholas had a lot of fun working along side them! It was great to get the word out, and to let people know that there are many children out there with so many needs! Lots of fliers given out, people asking a lot of questions! I huge THANK YOU!!!! Please check back for regular posts! Nicholas and I will be there next Sunday, December 12 for another fundraiser! I hope to see you all there!!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Why Adopt??

Why adopt??? I know many people may still be questioning me on this, wondering why? Wondering how? I know that there are some people out there that disagree with this, and I am aware of this because silence speaks louder than words. 

There are many reasons I want to adopt Vika. Some of which are very personal. What I can share with you, is that for a long time I have wanted another child. I have kept this dream to myself for so long because I was never quite sure how having another child would ever come to me. I wasn't sure if I would have a biological child of my own. If I would foster, or be an adoptive parent. Over the last few years I have admired people that have been pregnant,  or that have more than one child. Knowing it is something I had wanted for a long time. 

I don't like to say I found Vika. I  truly feel as though she found me. I thought this was a silly thought until I spoke with another Mom who is adopting a young girl with Downs from the same orphanage who  has become a good friend thus far.  She said the same thing to me. She said she was never planning on adopting a little girl with downs. But there was something greater than her that has led her to this decision in her life. That is much of how I feel. I feel a connection to her, and I am ready to provide and love her.  I am excited to have her in my life.

Today there were over 100 orphans (very young) with Down Syndrome posted into one region in Russia. How can this be??? How can one region support and take care of all of these children? The answer is they CAN'T. As much as these people care for these kids. They are only one person, with two hands. The answer is some of these children will not be able to thrive. They will die, and never to be thought of again. It is a horrible reality that few people are willing to recognize, and even fewer willing to act. Someone said to me today that I should be proud of myself. That anyone can dream and hope for something. But it takes a even stronger person to go after that dream. What he said is so true. Something I hadn't realized myself until he said that to me. So why am I adopting?? I want to make a difference. I know I can't change the world. But I can change one girls world. I love these children. If I could save them all, I would. The one thing that stands between so many parents adopting these special kids.. it is money. 

This is of course a very short answer... it is one that it evolving over time. The more I think about the love I have for her. The more I know it is true. I will do all I can to bring her home. I will not stop til I have her home.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Practice Gratitude...

What will you be doing tomorrow?

Thanksgiving has so many different meanings to everyone. For some people it is about the meals. The turkey with gravy, heaping piles of mashed potatoes with gravy. For some people, they will spend all day on the couch watching football. For many kids it is the Macy's Day Parade. And for millions of Americans... Black Friday. MIllions and Millions of dollars will be spent that day. On TV's, cameras, computers and cloths. It is a great tradition that so many families build many memories on! It is a wonderful thing, that I love to partake on myself! This year my focus has fallen on a bigger gift. One that not even the nicest TVs, Computers, and cameras can compare to. My gift is giving Vika a home. The gift of a family. Before you set out on your early morning (or evening festivities). Please consider stopping by my website to give a small gift to help bring this beautiful girl home. No amount is too small.

I challenge everyone to practice daily gratitude... say thank you, and recognize what you have in your life to be thankful for; your home, your mother, father, siblings and friends. As we are not all blessed with these daily fortunes.

Thank you all for your amazing thoughts and prayers! It keeps me going from day to day!
Have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving with your family.

All the Love!

Friday, November 19, 2010

1500 words or less...

Dear Family & Friends...
I am a HUGE fan of Ellen. Every time I watch her show she is always doing something amazing for someone! So it promoted me to look on her website to see what types of giveaways she is having. She is having a giveaway/wants to support someone that is doing something exceptional/amazing.. from what I have heard form you all, you think what I am trying to do is amazing... and there are so many people out there like me that are trying to do the same thing. I have started to get to know another Mom who is adopting a little girls with Downs from the same Orphanage. We are both in need of help from people within the community. If you could take the time to nominate me for the help (or someone else amazing in your life), I know I would greatly appreciate it! Take the time to let Ellen know.. in 1500 words or less. About me, my journey, and dream to give this girl a loving home, and a bright future. Follow this link to tell Ellen your thoughts, and to support me

Thank you so much for your support!
All the love...

Saturday, November 13, 2010


A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to make a quilt. I went downtown, bought the fabric, I bought the pattern. I even read a book on how to make this particular quilt. I read, and read the instructions. I cut each piece to the exact
specifications. When it said to cut it 4 1/2 inches, that is exactly what I did. Today, when I had all the pieces cut out. I then spent about 2 hours laying the pieces onto the floor. Piecing, and planning where each piece would go. Being sure that it would be as perfect as possible. I was very excited about how this would look. Threading my 78 year old Singer sewing machine, I pick up the first pieces, sew them together, iron them, it looked AMAZING! I get the next set of blocks together. I sew them together, iron... once again... looked amazing. I lay it down to take a quick peek on how it will look all together. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN! Although I measured all the pieces.. when put together it didn't match. The edges weren't lining up. Colors that were not supposed to be next to one another.. touching edges. I sigh.. think to myself.. do the next one... see what it will look like with three. So I sew the third... and the fourth... setting the squares next to one another. Its uniqueness is making it more beautiful. It wasn't what was in the picture. It wasn't what I planned. But it is mine. Something I had created all on my own. I think my life, your life.. it is all in a way like my quilt. I never planned on my life turning out the way it has. But when I take a step back, realize all I have been through. How I have been able to put pieces together, to make it my own. I feel blessed to have such wonderful things in my life. It is a beautiful life. It isn't everything I ever thought.. but it is so much more. It has a uniqueness in its own. 

Monday, November 8, 2010

I am always amazed...

There have been few times in my life when I feel like things are out of my control. I mean OUT OF MY CONTROL!! The first being when I was told that I had cancer. I asked how long I would live if I didn't start treatment, I was told 2 months. Although, there was no doubt in my mind that I would undergo treatment immediately. There were many of nights I would lay awake, wondering if I would die from the cancer, who would take care of Nicholas, would anyone be able to love him, look out for him, and take care of him the way that I had up to that point. When I would get overwhelmed, I would close my eyes and pray. I wasn't sure what to,or whom to, but I would ask for help from somewhere I didn't know where the help would come from. Every time, those prayers were answered. It came in many forms, whether it be a letter of encouragement from a stranger, being able to eat without being sick, or sleeping through the night. I was blessed in so many ways. Most of all, is that I sit here tonight, living, and breathing. Supporting and loving my family. Doing what matters most to me.

This adoption thus far has given me some of the same challenges. I don't know where I will get the funds for this adoption. I really DO NOT like that it keeps coming back to money. But it really truly is one of the few things that is standing between me, and giving Vika a home. I have all the love in the world for this girl. I want to give her a home, the support and  guidance in the world. However, it is money!! I think and think, and stress and stress.. how will it happen. What more can I do.. am I trying hard enough... what else can I do... there is not a day this does not run through my mind over and over. Just when I stop... something amazing happens... a prayer comes though... someone has been listening, watching and reading about my love for this girl I have never met. A girl I have committed my love, and my life to. It came in the form of a letter from a girl that works in the hospital with. Her father wrote a letter.
This is for your friend that is raising money to adopt the little girl from Russia.
                                                          Love,  Dad

It came from a phone call from a co-worker that I hadn't seen in months.. asking to buy raffle tickets.

It means the world to me that people are listening and that they care. I am always amazed about people that you least expect to support you, to let you know that they care and are listening. It is this amazement that I have always cherished, and am grateful for. It is the same commitment that people have to the human spirit that gives me the faith everyday that I will have Vika home next year.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Old Pictures...

Last night I had the opportunity to sit down and go through some old pictures. Any parent that has ever done this, you know how emotional it can be. To see how far your child has come. All his/her achievments, all the milestones, birthdays, and Christmas celebrations. It always makes me smile, and I always say "Time goes by so fast", or "where does time go". I usually shed a few tears, wanting to turn back time. To be able to hold Nicholas again as a baby, letting him fall asleep in the crook of my arm. To be able to make them laugh with silly faces... watching him take his first steps.  I always feel so lucky to have had all these experiences, and all these memories with not only Nicholas, but with my entire family.

I sat there last night for hours doing this. Looking at old pictures. Showing Nicholas them, laughing. He was SO proud of himself, his family and friends. He would look at the pictures, recognize them, and truly, really happy about that memory! If any of you know Nicholas, you know what I am talking about!!! Then of course, I could not help think of Vika, and the hundreds of other orphans. What kind of memories are they making right now. Are they making ones they can look back at, smile and laugh? I like to think that they are! But in my heart, I know the children do not have the means or support that they need and thrive on.

I know I am only one person. I know that I can not change the world. But if I can change the world of one or two children that I truly love, I will. If I can give them the happiness and memories that all kids should have, I will. I will do all I can to make it happen.

I really hope that I am able to celebrate Christmas with Nick and Vika next year. Giving Nicholas a little sister. To give Vika her first birthday cake, and bring her to school for the very first time! With a lot of faith, and prayer. By this time next year, she will be my daughter. There will be three...

Saturday, October 30, 2010


I have always been one to get things done. When I know I need to get it done. I know it, I do it. DONE!! This is all out of my control right now. Waiting for a note from my doctor, selling these raffle tickets. Waiting on people to get back to me.. it is hard!!!   It is incredibly frustrating, and waiting on other people has never been my strong suit. So LESSON ONE: Patience. This is going to take a lot of patience on my part. To know that it will happen with good time, and with patience.

I have a lot of planning, and a lot of saving to do before now and then. I hate to say this. but it all seems to keep coming back to money!! You can't do this without money. I have a feeling once everything is submitted, things may move a lot quicker than I originally thought. I could be sitting in a small hotel just outside of Moscow in just five months.

LESSON TWO: FAITH AND TRUST.. in this whole process. I have said it once, and I will have to say it again. To remind myself that it will all work out. People always seem to amaze me in the amazing gifts that they have given. They always seem to surprise me, and it is always out of the blue. Because I truly believe, that Vika is supposed to be here with us. I do have faith that it will all come together. This is going to be a long journey. But in the end, there will be three.. Nick, Vika and me...

I have posted a new thermometer to track the amount of tickets sold. I have a ways to go. But I really have faith that they will all sell!!

For now, I am going to go and enjoy the day with all my friends at the Special Olympics!! We have the state games today for bowling!!! Going for the gold :)

Love you!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Each day I take a break from what I am doing... dash home to check my mailbox to see if the note from my oncologist has come in the mail. I have put a lot of faith and trust into a person that may not even remember me for all I know. 

Adoption of a child that I have never met, from a country I have never been to, and ultimately seeking approval from a judge, and loving and acceptance from a young girl. I am putting an INCREDIBLE amount of TRUST and FAITH in the process. I have been told that adoption is a very emotional journey that people will never know until it is fully experienced. 

I have a image in my mind that thinks that I am going to have a beautiful little girl here at some point next year, enjoying Birthdays and Christmas holidays as a family.  But the truth of it is. Before I get to that point, I know that I will be struggling with a child that has been living in an orphanage all her life. She will have a routine, that much I recognize, but may not understand. She will speak Russian, I will speak English... Can you even imagine our plane ride home?? I have.. I have thought about so many things. One thing I think about more. Where my heart leads me every time. What if I didn't put the effort in. What if nobody cared. What if everyone turned their heads, and let children like Vika, and the 17 other kids with downs in the same orphanage just stay there, forever, in the baby house. Where they can only dream of having a family, playing with friends on a playground and Christmas dinners. When their real destiny would be a mental institute. Never having a chance at his/her dreams. 

 This is a journey of faith and trust. In my family, friends, community, powers more than myself. It is going to be a journey like no other. All the love to everyone who has supported me thus far. You have no idea how much it means to me!!

You will all be the first to know when I get the letter from my doctor! 
With  the faith that he will give the letter I need to move forward. I am mailing my homestudy application tomorrow morning. 

Goodnight all...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Win a Flat Screen TV... $10.00 wins it!!! Check back for updates on Ticket sales!

Win a Flat Screen TV... $10.00 wins it!!! Check back for updates on Ticket sales!! ONLY 500 tickets will be sold! 
The quicker the tickets sell, the sooner someone will be the owner of a new TV!! Spread the word, and please come back and check out my journey through adoption!! Thank you everyone for your support!! 

You can donate safely, and securely at the chip in widget via pay pal! Once you donate, Pay Pal automatically sends me your name, and you will be entered! 

Monday, October 18, 2010

One Little Chromosome

It is the genetic makeup that gives me my smile, you your hair color, and the next person their eye color. For my son Nicholas. It is the one extra chromosome that gives him his short stubby hands, his almond shape eyes, and his broad nose. One little chromosome... it is tricky how that little thing snuck in there and changed my life forever. As you may have read in a prior blog. I did not know Nicholas had Downs until he was born. He was a gift to me. I have loved him, and given him all I know how to give since the day he was born.  I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

However, for some people. Having a baby with Down Syndrome sometimes they don't have the means, or the support to raise a child with special needs, sometimes it may be a matter of lifestyle. I like to think that God gives only certain people with children with Downs. But at the same time I have to question if that is the case, why there are 17 children with downs in the orphanage that Vika now lives in? I am not too sure of the reason. It is hard for me to understand why people would do such a thing. But I like to think, and to feel that not only Vika, but all the other kids are destined to a wonderful life. That through the testimonial of adoption of these special kids. That the WORLD will start to have more acceptance of these wonderful, loving, outgoing people!

This is my Nicholas the day he was born.. you can see his genetic makeup. Look closely, you will see the third Chromosome on the 21st... . making Nicholas uniquely beautiful...

Saturday, October 16, 2010

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month!!

It was not that many years ago that individuals with Down Syndrome in America were given up at birth and put in institutions where the would have no room to grow and mature as a person.  I believe that people did this out of fear of the unknown, fear of their child not being accepted by not only their family and friends, but in society. People in America have come a long way in the acceptance of individuals in society. There is still a lot of ridicule that goes on, as I have witnessed it firsthand.  But I truly feel as though it is from a lack of education, and understanding of people with Downs. 

What I want everyone to know about people with Downs. They have a lot of unconditional love to give. They have all the same dreams as everyone else. Playing on the school basketball team, going to dances, having a job, making money, falling in love and getting married, and everything in between. Every day of my life, I am aware, and I in tune and work hard to give Nicholas all the opportunities that I feel as though everyone in the world deserves. He is a special kid who like every child deserves the best in life. 

It breaks my heart that there are hundreds of kids with Down Syndrome and other disabilities living in orphanages throughout the world. Places where there are laying rooms, where the kids are rarely held, and soothed. Places where kids do not have the chances that Nicholas will have, or the other kids he is friends with. 

My dream is not only to have the chance to give Vika a home. But a dream that someday people throughout the world will have the same love and acceptance for people with Down Syndrome that people in America have. I believe that this acceptance through the testimonial of adoption. Please support me, and help raise awareness of people with Downs throughout the world.

All the love to give..

Friday, October 15, 2010

Sealed with a Kiss

Today, on my 35th birthday, I  woke up , and didn't think about my birthday, or being a year older, or how I would celebrate it today. With friends.. with family? Instead I woke up, with only one thing on my mind. Will he write back. Will he give me the approval that I need to move forward with adopting Vika. Then I thought about how wonderful it would be the first time that Vika has a birthday party of her own. Would she know what to do after everyone finished singing to her, would she blow out the candles. Would she know that the gifts were for her, and only her. It is something that I hope we will get to see someday.

This morning, at 7:00 am in the pouring rain. I held the envelope in my hands, kissed it once, and prayed.. yes prayed that the letter will find it to my doctor who is now down in Philadelphia. Even more-so, he would find it within himself to write back to me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Such Sad News

This precious doll was never given the Forever Family that all kids deserve. She died today in a mental institute just a month shy of her 5th birthday. My heart breaks for her that she did not have a family by her side, to speak up for her, to love her, and to give her the care and support that she needed. The time that these kids have here on this earth is limited. Unless people that can make a difference take action!  To be aware, and know that there are kids out there in this world that need out help, and depend on it. Little Anne Marie is a human testimonial that time is short for these kids. There are so many children in her position around the world. Vika being one of them. Please take the time to consider supporting our family in this journey, and passing the word onto your friends and family too. 

Anne Marie (20)

Girl, Born November 25, 2005

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I never thought this would be an issue..

10 years ago today, I was sitting in my living room... actually, maybe in a hospital bed getting chemotherapy for APL. Regardless of where I was 10 years ago. It is here and now what matters most. Living day to day what makes me happy. Sometimes what brings me sadness. Yet, I found myself writing a letter to my physician asking him if he would put in writing what he told me almost ten years ago, that I would be able to live a long healthy life. It is essential that I get this letter to follow through with my homestudy. Without this approval, this "golden ticket" if you will. It will be difficult to get approval from a judge over in Russia for me to bring Vika home sometime next year. While I truly believe that this will not be an issue. It stills worries me that something from my past, something that I had no control over, no more I have control over you or I dying tomorrow. while I do understand the rationale, it jusr does not seem fair to me. Nonetheless, I am going to venture on, and work at raising money, little by little to complete my homestudy, and proceed on with the necessary steps.

I ask you all for your support throughout this journey. It is going to be long emotional one, I am sure. I am well on my way.

My letter to Dr. Olszanski:

October 13, 2010
Dear Dr. Olszanski,

I am not too sure you will remember me. As I know you see hundreds of patients a year.  But 10 years ago I was under the care of you for APL at DHMC Lebenon. I was only 24, and a single mom of a very young boy with Down Syndrome (whom coincidently had just got off the ventilator  4 months at DHMC when I was diagnosed). 

I had been wanting to write you a letter for a long time now. I was planning on doing it at my 10 year anniversary date of remission.  However, my selfish reasons have prompted me to write this letter a lot sooner.

In the last 10 years of my life I have done a lot of things. One of them I am most proud is that I have gone onto become a registered nurse. I have been doing that for just about 8 years now. I am working in the Concord Hospital Emergency Room in Concord, NH. By this I often work with a lot of residents, and get to see them grow as doctors over the four years they are at the hospital. I have had more than one of them ask what they think would make the patient happy. I always tell them to listen, and include the patient in the plan. I have always told them about you.  During my treatment at DHMC, whenever we had an appointment. You were always caring, knowledgeable, and a terrific listener. Having cancer changes you for life. It gives you a perspective on life you otherwise would never have. You are never “normal” again. However, each time after I had my appointments with you. You gave me that reassurance that I always wanted. That I was going to live a long normal life. It is a feeling that only an exceptional doctor like yourself can give a patient.

My letter I originally was going to write was going to thank you, and tell you how great of a doctor I always thought you were. But, my life has brought me down a road I never thought I would ever experience. I am currently in the process of adopting a young girl with Down Syndrome from Russia who is truly living on borrowed time as she will soon be committed to a mental institute next year. 

I have for a long time been discharged from the practice at DHMC. But am in need of a medical providers opinion that people that once lived with APL will go on to live a long normal life. I feel like a note from my PCP just is not good enough. But a letter from an experienced provider to make sure that there is not a hang up in bringing this special girl into my family. If this is something that you could do, willing to do. I would be eternally grateful.

With sincere gratitude,
Taryn L.Seybold
33A Merrimack Street
Concord, NH 03301
Please Visit my blog for my adoption, you may remember who I am:

Monday, October 11, 2010

How could $20.00 save a life??? 1000 people needed...

Over the last few days I have been reading posts, and blogs from people that have visited orphanages throughout the world. Where young children who can not fend for themselves, have poor living conditions, and often do not have the nutrition needed for thrive, and grow as a child. Often leaving them with rotted teeth, brittle bones, and many other unattended, undiagnosed medical conditions. As parents we always want to give our children the best. Want to provide, and guide them through life. These kids, have no one to to this with them. No one to give them the love that all children thrive on, and need  to grow into a happy young adult.  The thought of any child living in these conditions truly breaks my heart. I often imagine my son Nicholas living in those conditions, how would he thrive?  Would he even think to ask, to be changed, fed, held. Would he even have the verbal language to ask, or would he just sit there, and hope someone would notice him? Would anyone notice him? Would they pick him up, interact, change him?  Would they have the time?  The more I think about it, I am not too sure it would happen. This is just one more reason that I know that ViKa belongs home with me. While I know I can not save everyone, and I know I can not give all these kids a home. I can do it for one child.

I often find myself spending $5.00 at McDonalds, then another $10.00 at Target on things that were on my list, then many of times another $50.00 on mindless things. No rhyme or reason. I just thought it was cute, or necessary at the time. I know we all can all have some post-buying guilt. I am asking my family and friends to visit my blog and please donate $20.00 by clicking on the chipin toggle. Then pass this posting/link onto your family and friends. This donation brings me leaps and bounds to bringing Vika home to a good home. A home that all children deserve.

If you are willing to leave your name and address, within a week you will receive a special thank you card form our family. Once again, thank you for your constant interest in giving Vika a good home, and helping me have a daughter I never thought I would ever have. 

Saturday, October 9, 2010

15 years ago today

I was in the hospital with a new born baby. It is hard to believe that he is so grown up and in High School now! I am not too sure how or when time started passing so quickly. But from what I hear from here on out, it is going to go by even quicker!!

I have had a few chances to talk to Nick about the idea of having a sister over the last week. Each time I have talked to him, he has seemed truly excited and interested in her. I know he is going to be an excellent, older brother.

I have talked to the social worker a couple times over the week. We seem to have everything lined up. There are a few things that need to be ironed out. I plan on submitting my application on Tuesday morning since Monday is a holiday. By doing this, this officially makes Vika no longer adoptable by other parents. Can you all believe it! She is such a sweet young girl who deserves all that life has to offer. I am so excited that she is going to have all those opportunities here with Nicholas and I. This means I am going to making a HUGE initiative to raise money for the process to get things underway.  I am working on putting together a few different fundraisers. Some of them have the potential to raise more money than others. But all in all I know that things always have a way of working themselves out. Where there is a will there is a way. I am open to ALL ideas. Please send them my way!

On a personal note, I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive so far! It truly does mean a lot to me! I am so excited to share this process with everyone along the way!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Calling out all family and friends

So I am filling out the adoption application tonight. I swear to you all, it is about 1 inch thick!! I had to take a break, and start the planning some sort of fundraiser. I have a great idea  of having a fun filled evening with a music,  games, photos with santa, great raffle prizes, possibly a silent auction. I have contacted the Concord YMCA about possibly having it there. If it is not a possibility, does anyone out there have any other ideas/connections that we can get this ball rolling?? I am also in need of some great prizes, for ALL ages!! If anyone can think of anything, or have the means or connections that you feel someone would be willing to donate to such a great cause, please let me know. I would be greatly appreciated! I can and will work on this on my own. But I know by the amount of followers I have on this blog, that people are listening, and want to help.
Here is a beginning list of ideas/needs:
1) A venue
2) Food. Places around town willing to donate? Possibly a pizza taste off??? Get all different places from around to come down!!
3) I need T Shirts made up! I want 2-3 different designs. I was thinking of having kids at a local high school design the shirts? What do you think?
4)Music: Who would be willing to donate their time to spin out some sounds???
5) Calling all volunteers... we will need lots of them!!!
6) Santa being there, with an opportunity for their pictures to be taken!!

& what else.. what have  I missed!! This is when I need  those comments.. I need your thoughts and ideas!! Please, please.... send them my way!!!!

I hope to hear from you soon!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

There will be Resistance

It is amazing how when you are truly excited about something, when you want something. People will come along and say and do anything to bring you down. I find this happens all the time, in many aspects of life. It is where the saying "misery loves company" comes into play. I have experienced this a lot throughout my life. I like to think that as I have got older I have learned not to let what people say, and what they do affect who I am and how I feel. But it is not the case, because I am very sensitive to what people say, and more-so, when they say nothing at all.

I would like everyone know, before I proceed with the adoption of Victoria (if I am lucky enough to have her come home with me), this is what truly what I want. I have thought about having another child of my own for a long time now. I have never known how my family would grow; if I would have a biological child of my own, if I would adopt, and have even thought being a foster mother. But when I saw pictures of Victoria, and her description of her personality. I truly feel as though I could give her a good, loving home, and here with my family is where she is supposed to be.

I know a lot of people out there are wondering why I would even think about adopting Victoria.  Especially given all the challenges that I already have. I admit I do have a unique set of challenges with Nicholas (Those of you that know Nicholas and I best, know what I am talking about). Having said that, those of you who know us best also know that he is an amazing kid with a fantastic sense of humor, he makes me laugh and smile everyday.

Why adopt another kid with down syndrome??? I know a lot of people are thinking this. I am not too sure everyone will ever understand my choice to do so. I don't expect everyone to understand. It is a very personal choice. But I can share with you that I do not think of kids like Nicholas, or Victoria are any  different than any other children. They want to be just like everyone else. They have the same dreams, and hopes in life as all other kids do as they grow up. I know I could easily adopt a "normal" kid. One that will grow up, and move out into society as he/she matures. But the truth is,  I don't want to adopt a "normal" kid. As easily as easily people can say they don't want to adopt a child with down syndrome. It doesn't make anyone of us bad, or less aware of the needs of the children in the world. It just makes us who we are.

 I have had people say to me "why would you want to do that",  "please reconsider your decision". While I am open to ideas, and I welcome people to talk to me about the process, and things to think about. It is one very reason I am doing this blog. So people can talk to me, and offer ideas, and give me their ideas, share your thoughts and concerns. But please know, I do not need any negative feelings coming my way. This is supposed to be an exciting time for someone, going through the process of welcoming a new child into the family. I want to thank everyone who has been supportive thus far! I am really excited about the future, and can't wait to move forward with the process.

Word is that someone is on the way to the orphanage where Victoria is and I will hopefully have new pictures of Victoria in the near future.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Then came all the paper work.

Tonight while I was on break from work I had a chance to sort through emails, as well as look at the process a little more closely. I am now understanding why people who have been through this process call it a "paper chase". WOW... In all honesty I can not say I was shocked. It is not as though I am applying for a shaws card to get some sort of discount. I am applying to show someone, somewhere, that I have a genuine interest in opening my heart, and my home to a special child. That I am committed, and a true interest in expanding my family. 

As I sat there and picked through the paperwork. I had a glimpse of the costs. The breakdown, the fees, donations, and assessments. I have to admit it was a little discouraging. It does seem so out of reach, it seems like a mountain, with all these tiny little hills that I have to climb in between. The little costs here and there, with the big expenses that you have to account for too. I can see how the adoption process can easily become about the money. 

But, with that being said. People knowing me, and knowing that I can do what I put my mind to. I know that with time, we will give Victoria the home that she deserves. 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

This is just the beginning

 I gave birth to my son Nicholas almost 15 years ago now. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I was so young, and so foolish. I didn't know a lot about being an adult. Let alone having a baby at such a young age. The beauty of having a child at such a young age,you feel like you can do anything. 

I got pregnant the following January after graduating high school. It was a shock to me. I was living in California, thousands of miles away from all of my family. I never thought I would be "one of those girls", I thought about going to college, and sleeping in dorm rooms, staying up late night with my friends.  I had some friends at my apartment complex that let me borrow their car to get groceries so I wouldn't have to walk. I had friends that I exchanged CD's for rides to the hospital for prenatal care. I had friends where I was a housekeeper that gave me a small baby shower when my family couldn't. I had great friends that were always so supportive of me, and I love them to this very day. 

Throughout my whole pregnancy I thought a lot about what it would like to be a Mom. What my baby would look like. He/she going to school, making friends, having sleepovers, playing sports, going to college. All the the things I did, and wanted to do in my life. It was so exciting to think about, to plan, to hope and dream for everything that he/she would become. I imagine it is what a lot of parents think about when they are preparing to have a child. 

My pregnancy was perfect. I was never sick, I was very active, and never had any difficulty. The day Nicholas was born was the happiest days of my life. He was so beautiful. His small round face, his broad nose, his stubby hands, how they fanned out when you ran your fingers across the palm. I always loved doing that. I remember looking at him, and thinking to myself "His eyes look swollen". I didn't think much of it more at the time. I looked at him, cuddled him, and embraced him all night. 

Early the next morning the doctor that delivered Nicholas, as well as many as 4-5 other doctors came into the room to talk to me. They told me that they "thought" Nicholas had Down Syndrome. I remember thinking to myself I knew what it was. Introducing me to a genetics counselor, as they handed me a packet of information about Down Syndrome. Offering me other options such has adoption and foster homes if I didn't want to keep him. I remember feeling angry, and insulted at the fact that they would even suggest such a thing. More angry that they apologized as if I were mourning a loss, as though he had died the day he was born. 

For almost fifteen years now, Nicholas has given me more love, hope and laughter than I believe that most people experience in a lifetime. All the things that he has accomplished, the ways he amazes me everyday makes me so proud to be his Mom. He is truly a sensational kid. It is with that amazement, and that love, I want to bring another child like Nicholas into my families life. 

I found this website when I was at a Buddy Walk (a walk to raise awareness for Down Syndrome), just ever 2 weeks ago. I originally thought I would be donating $25.00 to get a Christmas tree ornament with a childs photograph on it. Instead I have since thought more and more about opening my home to a child and giving them a life that all children deserve. It is a costly process that I know that I am going to need the support of ALL my friends and family, and your friends and family too. 

This is a journey that I know will not be an easy one. It is not one that everyone will understand. But what I hope is in time, and through this blog, and the messages I send out that you as my friends will understand and want to be a part of.