There are times in your life when you feel deep within your heart that something feels right. It is a feeling deep within you that feeds your heart with happiness. It is a feeling that you believe in, no matter how difficult, no matter how demanding something may be, you know that it is right. You know you have to follow your heart.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Why Adopt??

Why adopt??? I know many people may still be questioning me on this, wondering why? Wondering how? I know that there are some people out there that disagree with this, and I am aware of this because silence speaks louder than words. 

There are many reasons I want to adopt Vika. Some of which are very personal. What I can share with you, is that for a long time I have wanted another child. I have kept this dream to myself for so long because I was never quite sure how having another child would ever come to me. I wasn't sure if I would have a biological child of my own. If I would foster, or be an adoptive parent. Over the last few years I have admired people that have been pregnant,  or that have more than one child. Knowing it is something I had wanted for a long time. 

I don't like to say I found Vika. I  truly feel as though she found me. I thought this was a silly thought until I spoke with another Mom who is adopting a young girl with Downs from the same orphanage who  has become a good friend thus far.  She said the same thing to me. She said she was never planning on adopting a little girl with downs. But there was something greater than her that has led her to this decision in her life. That is much of how I feel. I feel a connection to her, and I am ready to provide and love her.  I am excited to have her in my life.

Today there were over 100 orphans (very young) with Down Syndrome posted into one region in Russia. How can this be??? How can one region support and take care of all of these children? The answer is they CAN'T. As much as these people care for these kids. They are only one person, with two hands. The answer is some of these children will not be able to thrive. They will die, and never to be thought of again. It is a horrible reality that few people are willing to recognize, and even fewer willing to act. Someone said to me today that I should be proud of myself. That anyone can dream and hope for something. But it takes a even stronger person to go after that dream. What he said is so true. Something I hadn't realized myself until he said that to me. So why am I adopting?? I want to make a difference. I know I can't change the world. But I can change one girls world. I love these children. If I could save them all, I would. The one thing that stands between so many parents adopting these special kids.. it is money. 

This is of course a very short answer... it is one that it evolving over time. The more I think about the love I have for her. The more I know it is true. I will do all I can to bring her home. I will not stop til I have her home.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Practice Gratitude...

What will you be doing tomorrow?

Thanksgiving has so many different meanings to everyone. For some people it is about the meals. The turkey with gravy, heaping piles of mashed potatoes with gravy. For some people, they will spend all day on the couch watching football. For many kids it is the Macy's Day Parade. And for millions of Americans... Black Friday. MIllions and Millions of dollars will be spent that day. On TV's, cameras, computers and cloths. It is a great tradition that so many families build many memories on! It is a wonderful thing, that I love to partake on myself! This year my focus has fallen on a bigger gift. One that not even the nicest TVs, Computers, and cameras can compare to. My gift is giving Vika a home. The gift of a family. Before you set out on your early morning (or evening festivities). Please consider stopping by my website to give a small gift to help bring this beautiful girl home. No amount is too small.

I challenge everyone to practice daily gratitude... say thank you, and recognize what you have in your life to be thankful for; your home, your mother, father, siblings and friends. As we are not all blessed with these daily fortunes.

Thank you all for your amazing thoughts and prayers! It keeps me going from day to day!
Have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving with your family.

All the Love!

Friday, November 19, 2010

1500 words or less...

Dear Family & Friends...
I am a HUGE fan of Ellen. Every time I watch her show she is always doing something amazing for someone! So it promoted me to look on her website to see what types of giveaways she is having. She is having a giveaway/wants to support someone that is doing something exceptional/amazing.. from what I have heard form you all, you think what I am trying to do is amazing... and there are so many people out there like me that are trying to do the same thing. I have started to get to know another Mom who is adopting a little girls with Downs from the same Orphanage. We are both in need of help from people within the community. If you could take the time to nominate me for the help (or someone else amazing in your life), I know I would greatly appreciate it! Take the time to let Ellen know.. in 1500 words or less. About me, my journey, and dream to give this girl a loving home, and a bright future. Follow this link to tell Ellen your thoughts, and to support me

Thank you so much for your support!
All the love...

Saturday, November 13, 2010


A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to make a quilt. I went downtown, bought the fabric, I bought the pattern. I even read a book on how to make this particular quilt. I read, and read the instructions. I cut each piece to the exact
specifications. When it said to cut it 4 1/2 inches, that is exactly what I did. Today, when I had all the pieces cut out. I then spent about 2 hours laying the pieces onto the floor. Piecing, and planning where each piece would go. Being sure that it would be as perfect as possible. I was very excited about how this would look. Threading my 78 year old Singer sewing machine, I pick up the first pieces, sew them together, iron them, it looked AMAZING! I get the next set of blocks together. I sew them together, iron... once again... looked amazing. I lay it down to take a quick peek on how it will look all together. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN! Although I measured all the pieces.. when put together it didn't match. The edges weren't lining up. Colors that were not supposed to be next to one another.. touching edges. I sigh.. think to myself.. do the next one... see what it will look like with three. So I sew the third... and the fourth... setting the squares next to one another. Its uniqueness is making it more beautiful. It wasn't what was in the picture. It wasn't what I planned. But it is mine. Something I had created all on my own. I think my life, your life.. it is all in a way like my quilt. I never planned on my life turning out the way it has. But when I take a step back, realize all I have been through. How I have been able to put pieces together, to make it my own. I feel blessed to have such wonderful things in my life. It is a beautiful life. It isn't everything I ever thought.. but it is so much more. It has a uniqueness in its own. 

Monday, November 8, 2010

I am always amazed...

There have been few times in my life when I feel like things are out of my control. I mean OUT OF MY CONTROL!! The first being when I was told that I had cancer. I asked how long I would live if I didn't start treatment, I was told 2 months. Although, there was no doubt in my mind that I would undergo treatment immediately. There were many of nights I would lay awake, wondering if I would die from the cancer, who would take care of Nicholas, would anyone be able to love him, look out for him, and take care of him the way that I had up to that point. When I would get overwhelmed, I would close my eyes and pray. I wasn't sure what to,or whom to, but I would ask for help from somewhere I didn't know where the help would come from. Every time, those prayers were answered. It came in many forms, whether it be a letter of encouragement from a stranger, being able to eat without being sick, or sleeping through the night. I was blessed in so many ways. Most of all, is that I sit here tonight, living, and breathing. Supporting and loving my family. Doing what matters most to me.

This adoption thus far has given me some of the same challenges. I don't know where I will get the funds for this adoption. I really DO NOT like that it keeps coming back to money. But it really truly is one of the few things that is standing between me, and giving Vika a home. I have all the love in the world for this girl. I want to give her a home, the support and  guidance in the world. However, it is money!! I think and think, and stress and stress.. how will it happen. What more can I do.. am I trying hard enough... what else can I do... there is not a day this does not run through my mind over and over. Just when I stop... something amazing happens... a prayer comes though... someone has been listening, watching and reading about my love for this girl I have never met. A girl I have committed my love, and my life to. It came in the form of a letter from a girl that works in the hospital with. Her father wrote a letter.
This is for your friend that is raising money to adopt the little girl from Russia.
                                                          Love,  Dad

It came from a phone call from a co-worker that I hadn't seen in months.. asking to buy raffle tickets.

It means the world to me that people are listening and that they care. I am always amazed about people that you least expect to support you, to let you know that they care and are listening. It is this amazement that I have always cherished, and am grateful for. It is the same commitment that people have to the human spirit that gives me the faith everyday that I will have Vika home next year.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Old Pictures...

Last night I had the opportunity to sit down and go through some old pictures. Any parent that has ever done this, you know how emotional it can be. To see how far your child has come. All his/her achievments, all the milestones, birthdays, and Christmas celebrations. It always makes me smile, and I always say "Time goes by so fast", or "where does time go". I usually shed a few tears, wanting to turn back time. To be able to hold Nicholas again as a baby, letting him fall asleep in the crook of my arm. To be able to make them laugh with silly faces... watching him take his first steps.  I always feel so lucky to have had all these experiences, and all these memories with not only Nicholas, but with my entire family.

I sat there last night for hours doing this. Looking at old pictures. Showing Nicholas them, laughing. He was SO proud of himself, his family and friends. He would look at the pictures, recognize them, and truly, really happy about that memory! If any of you know Nicholas, you know what I am talking about!!! Then of course, I could not help think of Vika, and the hundreds of other orphans. What kind of memories are they making right now. Are they making ones they can look back at, smile and laugh? I like to think that they are! But in my heart, I know the children do not have the means or support that they need and thrive on.

I know I am only one person. I know that I can not change the world. But if I can change the world of one or two children that I truly love, I will. If I can give them the happiness and memories that all kids should have, I will. I will do all I can to make it happen.

I really hope that I am able to celebrate Christmas with Nick and Vika next year. Giving Nicholas a little sister. To give Vika her first birthday cake, and bring her to school for the very first time! With a lot of faith, and prayer. By this time next year, she will be my daughter. There will be three...