There are times in your life when you feel deep within your heart that something feels right. It is a feeling deep within you that feeds your heart with happiness. It is a feeling that you believe in, no matter how difficult, no matter how demanding something may be, you know that it is right. You know you have to follow your heart.

Saturday, October 30, 2010


I have always been one to get things done. When I know I need to get it done. I know it, I do it. DONE!! This is all out of my control right now. Waiting for a note from my doctor, selling these raffle tickets. Waiting on people to get back to me.. it is hard!!!   It is incredibly frustrating, and waiting on other people has never been my strong suit. So LESSON ONE: Patience. This is going to take a lot of patience on my part. To know that it will happen with good time, and with patience.

I have a lot of planning, and a lot of saving to do before now and then. I hate to say this. but it all seems to keep coming back to money!! You can't do this without money. I have a feeling once everything is submitted, things may move a lot quicker than I originally thought. I could be sitting in a small hotel just outside of Moscow in just five months.

LESSON TWO: FAITH AND TRUST.. in this whole process. I have said it once, and I will have to say it again. To remind myself that it will all work out. People always seem to amaze me in the amazing gifts that they have given. They always seem to surprise me, and it is always out of the blue. Because I truly believe, that Vika is supposed to be here with us. I do have faith that it will all come together. This is going to be a long journey. But in the end, there will be three.. Nick, Vika and me...

I have posted a new thermometer to track the amount of tickets sold. I have a ways to go. But I really have faith that they will all sell!!

For now, I am going to go and enjoy the day with all my friends at the Special Olympics!! We have the state games today for bowling!!! Going for the gold :)

Love you!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Each day I take a break from what I am doing... dash home to check my mailbox to see if the note from my oncologist has come in the mail. I have put a lot of faith and trust into a person that may not even remember me for all I know. 

Adoption of a child that I have never met, from a country I have never been to, and ultimately seeking approval from a judge, and loving and acceptance from a young girl. I am putting an INCREDIBLE amount of TRUST and FAITH in the process. I have been told that adoption is a very emotional journey that people will never know until it is fully experienced. 

I have a image in my mind that thinks that I am going to have a beautiful little girl here at some point next year, enjoying Birthdays and Christmas holidays as a family.  But the truth of it is. Before I get to that point, I know that I will be struggling with a child that has been living in an orphanage all her life. She will have a routine, that much I recognize, but may not understand. She will speak Russian, I will speak English... Can you even imagine our plane ride home?? I have.. I have thought about so many things. One thing I think about more. Where my heart leads me every time. What if I didn't put the effort in. What if nobody cared. What if everyone turned their heads, and let children like Vika, and the 17 other kids with downs in the same orphanage just stay there, forever, in the baby house. Where they can only dream of having a family, playing with friends on a playground and Christmas dinners. When their real destiny would be a mental institute. Never having a chance at his/her dreams. 

 This is a journey of faith and trust. In my family, friends, community, powers more than myself. It is going to be a journey like no other. All the love to everyone who has supported me thus far. You have no idea how much it means to me!!

You will all be the first to know when I get the letter from my doctor! 
With  the faith that he will give the letter I need to move forward. I am mailing my homestudy application tomorrow morning. 

Goodnight all...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Win a Flat Screen TV... $10.00 wins it!!! Check back for updates on Ticket sales!

Win a Flat Screen TV... $10.00 wins it!!! Check back for updates on Ticket sales!! ONLY 500 tickets will be sold! 
The quicker the tickets sell, the sooner someone will be the owner of a new TV!! Spread the word, and please come back and check out my journey through adoption!! Thank you everyone for your support!! 

You can donate safely, and securely at the chip in widget via pay pal! Once you donate, Pay Pal automatically sends me your name, and you will be entered! 

Monday, October 18, 2010

One Little Chromosome

It is the genetic makeup that gives me my smile, you your hair color, and the next person their eye color. For my son Nicholas. It is the one extra chromosome that gives him his short stubby hands, his almond shape eyes, and his broad nose. One little chromosome... it is tricky how that little thing snuck in there and changed my life forever. As you may have read in a prior blog. I did not know Nicholas had Downs until he was born. He was a gift to me. I have loved him, and given him all I know how to give since the day he was born.  I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

However, for some people. Having a baby with Down Syndrome sometimes they don't have the means, or the support to raise a child with special needs, sometimes it may be a matter of lifestyle. I like to think that God gives only certain people with children with Downs. But at the same time I have to question if that is the case, why there are 17 children with downs in the orphanage that Vika now lives in? I am not too sure of the reason. It is hard for me to understand why people would do such a thing. But I like to think, and to feel that not only Vika, but all the other kids are destined to a wonderful life. That through the testimonial of adoption of these special kids. That the WORLD will start to have more acceptance of these wonderful, loving, outgoing people!

This is my Nicholas the day he was born.. you can see his genetic makeup. Look closely, you will see the third Chromosome on the 21st... . making Nicholas uniquely beautiful...

Saturday, October 16, 2010

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month!!

It was not that many years ago that individuals with Down Syndrome in America were given up at birth and put in institutions where the would have no room to grow and mature as a person.  I believe that people did this out of fear of the unknown, fear of their child not being accepted by not only their family and friends, but in society. People in America have come a long way in the acceptance of individuals in society. There is still a lot of ridicule that goes on, as I have witnessed it firsthand.  But I truly feel as though it is from a lack of education, and understanding of people with Downs. 

What I want everyone to know about people with Downs. They have a lot of unconditional love to give. They have all the same dreams as everyone else. Playing on the school basketball team, going to dances, having a job, making money, falling in love and getting married, and everything in between. Every day of my life, I am aware, and I in tune and work hard to give Nicholas all the opportunities that I feel as though everyone in the world deserves. He is a special kid who like every child deserves the best in life. 

It breaks my heart that there are hundreds of kids with Down Syndrome and other disabilities living in orphanages throughout the world. Places where there are laying rooms, where the kids are rarely held, and soothed. Places where kids do not have the chances that Nicholas will have, or the other kids he is friends with. 

My dream is not only to have the chance to give Vika a home. But a dream that someday people throughout the world will have the same love and acceptance for people with Down Syndrome that people in America have. I believe that this acceptance through the testimonial of adoption. Please support me, and help raise awareness of people with Downs throughout the world.

All the love to give..

Friday, October 15, 2010

Sealed with a Kiss

Today, on my 35th birthday, I  woke up , and didn't think about my birthday, or being a year older, or how I would celebrate it today. With friends.. with family? Instead I woke up, with only one thing on my mind. Will he write back. Will he give me the approval that I need to move forward with adopting Vika. Then I thought about how wonderful it would be the first time that Vika has a birthday party of her own. Would she know what to do after everyone finished singing to her, would she blow out the candles. Would she know that the gifts were for her, and only her. It is something that I hope we will get to see someday.

This morning, at 7:00 am in the pouring rain. I held the envelope in my hands, kissed it once, and prayed.. yes prayed that the letter will find it to my doctor who is now down in Philadelphia. Even more-so, he would find it within himself to write back to me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Such Sad News

This precious doll was never given the Forever Family that all kids deserve. She died today in a mental institute just a month shy of her 5th birthday. My heart breaks for her that she did not have a family by her side, to speak up for her, to love her, and to give her the care and support that she needed. The time that these kids have here on this earth is limited. Unless people that can make a difference take action!  To be aware, and know that there are kids out there in this world that need out help, and depend on it. Little Anne Marie is a human testimonial that time is short for these kids. There are so many children in her position around the world. Vika being one of them. Please take the time to consider supporting our family in this journey, and passing the word onto your friends and family too. 

Anne Marie (20)

Girl, Born November 25, 2005

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I never thought this would be an issue..

10 years ago today, I was sitting in my living room... actually, maybe in a hospital bed getting chemotherapy for APL. Regardless of where I was 10 years ago. It is here and now what matters most. Living day to day what makes me happy. Sometimes what brings me sadness. Yet, I found myself writing a letter to my physician asking him if he would put in writing what he told me almost ten years ago, that I would be able to live a long healthy life. It is essential that I get this letter to follow through with my homestudy. Without this approval, this "golden ticket" if you will. It will be difficult to get approval from a judge over in Russia for me to bring Vika home sometime next year. While I truly believe that this will not be an issue. It stills worries me that something from my past, something that I had no control over, no more I have control over you or I dying tomorrow. while I do understand the rationale, it jusr does not seem fair to me. Nonetheless, I am going to venture on, and work at raising money, little by little to complete my homestudy, and proceed on with the necessary steps.

I ask you all for your support throughout this journey. It is going to be long emotional one, I am sure. I am well on my way.

My letter to Dr. Olszanski:

October 13, 2010
Dear Dr. Olszanski,

I am not too sure you will remember me. As I know you see hundreds of patients a year.  But 10 years ago I was under the care of you for APL at DHMC Lebenon. I was only 24, and a single mom of a very young boy with Down Syndrome (whom coincidently had just got off the ventilator  4 months at DHMC when I was diagnosed). 

I had been wanting to write you a letter for a long time now. I was planning on doing it at my 10 year anniversary date of remission.  However, my selfish reasons have prompted me to write this letter a lot sooner.

In the last 10 years of my life I have done a lot of things. One of them I am most proud is that I have gone onto become a registered nurse. I have been doing that for just about 8 years now. I am working in the Concord Hospital Emergency Room in Concord, NH. By this I often work with a lot of residents, and get to see them grow as doctors over the four years they are at the hospital. I have had more than one of them ask what they think would make the patient happy. I always tell them to listen, and include the patient in the plan. I have always told them about you.  During my treatment at DHMC, whenever we had an appointment. You were always caring, knowledgeable, and a terrific listener. Having cancer changes you for life. It gives you a perspective on life you otherwise would never have. You are never “normal” again. However, each time after I had my appointments with you. You gave me that reassurance that I always wanted. That I was going to live a long normal life. It is a feeling that only an exceptional doctor like yourself can give a patient.

My letter I originally was going to write was going to thank you, and tell you how great of a doctor I always thought you were. But, my life has brought me down a road I never thought I would ever experience. I am currently in the process of adopting a young girl with Down Syndrome from Russia who is truly living on borrowed time as she will soon be committed to a mental institute next year. 

I have for a long time been discharged from the practice at DHMC. But am in need of a medical providers opinion that people that once lived with APL will go on to live a long normal life. I feel like a note from my PCP just is not good enough. But a letter from an experienced provider to make sure that there is not a hang up in bringing this special girl into my family. If this is something that you could do, willing to do. I would be eternally grateful.

With sincere gratitude,
Taryn L.Seybold
33A Merrimack Street
Concord, NH 03301
Please Visit my blog for my adoption, you may remember who I am:

Monday, October 11, 2010

How could $20.00 save a life??? 1000 people needed...

Over the last few days I have been reading posts, and blogs from people that have visited orphanages throughout the world. Where young children who can not fend for themselves, have poor living conditions, and often do not have the nutrition needed for thrive, and grow as a child. Often leaving them with rotted teeth, brittle bones, and many other unattended, undiagnosed medical conditions. As parents we always want to give our children the best. Want to provide, and guide them through life. These kids, have no one to to this with them. No one to give them the love that all children thrive on, and need  to grow into a happy young adult.  The thought of any child living in these conditions truly breaks my heart. I often imagine my son Nicholas living in those conditions, how would he thrive?  Would he even think to ask, to be changed, fed, held. Would he even have the verbal language to ask, or would he just sit there, and hope someone would notice him? Would anyone notice him? Would they pick him up, interact, change him?  Would they have the time?  The more I think about it, I am not too sure it would happen. This is just one more reason that I know that ViKa belongs home with me. While I know I can not save everyone, and I know I can not give all these kids a home. I can do it for one child.

I often find myself spending $5.00 at McDonalds, then another $10.00 at Target on things that were on my list, then many of times another $50.00 on mindless things. No rhyme or reason. I just thought it was cute, or necessary at the time. I know we all can all have some post-buying guilt. I am asking my family and friends to visit my blog and please donate $20.00 by clicking on the chipin toggle. Then pass this posting/link onto your family and friends. This donation brings me leaps and bounds to bringing Vika home to a good home. A home that all children deserve.

If you are willing to leave your name and address, within a week you will receive a special thank you card form our family. Once again, thank you for your constant interest in giving Vika a good home, and helping me have a daughter I never thought I would ever have. 

Saturday, October 9, 2010

15 years ago today

I was in the hospital with a new born baby. It is hard to believe that he is so grown up and in High School now! I am not too sure how or when time started passing so quickly. But from what I hear from here on out, it is going to go by even quicker!!

I have had a few chances to talk to Nick about the idea of having a sister over the last week. Each time I have talked to him, he has seemed truly excited and interested in her. I know he is going to be an excellent, older brother.

I have talked to the social worker a couple times over the week. We seem to have everything lined up. There are a few things that need to be ironed out. I plan on submitting my application on Tuesday morning since Monday is a holiday. By doing this, this officially makes Vika no longer adoptable by other parents. Can you all believe it! She is such a sweet young girl who deserves all that life has to offer. I am so excited that she is going to have all those opportunities here with Nicholas and I. This means I am going to making a HUGE initiative to raise money for the process to get things underway.  I am working on putting together a few different fundraisers. Some of them have the potential to raise more money than others. But all in all I know that things always have a way of working themselves out. Where there is a will there is a way. I am open to ALL ideas. Please send them my way!

On a personal note, I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive so far! It truly does mean a lot to me! I am so excited to share this process with everyone along the way!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Calling out all family and friends

So I am filling out the adoption application tonight. I swear to you all, it is about 1 inch thick!! I had to take a break, and start the planning some sort of fundraiser. I have a great idea  of having a fun filled evening with a music,  games, photos with santa, great raffle prizes, possibly a silent auction. I have contacted the Concord YMCA about possibly having it there. If it is not a possibility, does anyone out there have any other ideas/connections that we can get this ball rolling?? I am also in need of some great prizes, for ALL ages!! If anyone can think of anything, or have the means or connections that you feel someone would be willing to donate to such a great cause, please let me know. I would be greatly appreciated! I can and will work on this on my own. But I know by the amount of followers I have on this blog, that people are listening, and want to help.
Here is a beginning list of ideas/needs:
1) A venue
2) Food. Places around town willing to donate? Possibly a pizza taste off??? Get all different places from around to come down!!
3) I need T Shirts made up! I want 2-3 different designs. I was thinking of having kids at a local high school design the shirts? What do you think?
4)Music: Who would be willing to donate their time to spin out some sounds???
5) Calling all volunteers... we will need lots of them!!!
6) Santa being there, with an opportunity for their pictures to be taken!!

& what else.. what have  I missed!! This is when I need  those comments.. I need your thoughts and ideas!! Please, please.... send them my way!!!!

I hope to hear from you soon!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

There will be Resistance

It is amazing how when you are truly excited about something, when you want something. People will come along and say and do anything to bring you down. I find this happens all the time, in many aspects of life. It is where the saying "misery loves company" comes into play. I have experienced this a lot throughout my life. I like to think that as I have got older I have learned not to let what people say, and what they do affect who I am and how I feel. But it is not the case, because I am very sensitive to what people say, and more-so, when they say nothing at all.

I would like everyone know, before I proceed with the adoption of Victoria (if I am lucky enough to have her come home with me), this is what truly what I want. I have thought about having another child of my own for a long time now. I have never known how my family would grow; if I would have a biological child of my own, if I would adopt, and have even thought being a foster mother. But when I saw pictures of Victoria, and her description of her personality. I truly feel as though I could give her a good, loving home, and here with my family is where she is supposed to be.

I know a lot of people out there are wondering why I would even think about adopting Victoria.  Especially given all the challenges that I already have. I admit I do have a unique set of challenges with Nicholas (Those of you that know Nicholas and I best, know what I am talking about). Having said that, those of you who know us best also know that he is an amazing kid with a fantastic sense of humor, he makes me laugh and smile everyday.

Why adopt another kid with down syndrome??? I know a lot of people are thinking this. I am not too sure everyone will ever understand my choice to do so. I don't expect everyone to understand. It is a very personal choice. But I can share with you that I do not think of kids like Nicholas, or Victoria are any  different than any other children. They want to be just like everyone else. They have the same dreams, and hopes in life as all other kids do as they grow up. I know I could easily adopt a "normal" kid. One that will grow up, and move out into society as he/she matures. But the truth is,  I don't want to adopt a "normal" kid. As easily as easily people can say they don't want to adopt a child with down syndrome. It doesn't make anyone of us bad, or less aware of the needs of the children in the world. It just makes us who we are.

 I have had people say to me "why would you want to do that",  "please reconsider your decision". While I am open to ideas, and I welcome people to talk to me about the process, and things to think about. It is one very reason I am doing this blog. So people can talk to me, and offer ideas, and give me their ideas, share your thoughts and concerns. But please know, I do not need any negative feelings coming my way. This is supposed to be an exciting time for someone, going through the process of welcoming a new child into the family. I want to thank everyone who has been supportive thus far! I am really excited about the future, and can't wait to move forward with the process.

Word is that someone is on the way to the orphanage where Victoria is and I will hopefully have new pictures of Victoria in the near future.