There are times in your life when you feel deep within your heart that something feels right. It is a feeling deep within you that feeds your heart with happiness. It is a feeling that you believe in, no matter how difficult, no matter how demanding something may be, you know that it is right. You know you have to follow your heart.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Each day I take a break from what I am doing... dash home to check my mailbox to see if the note from my oncologist has come in the mail. I have put a lot of faith and trust into a person that may not even remember me for all I know. 

Adoption of a child that I have never met, from a country I have never been to, and ultimately seeking approval from a judge, and loving and acceptance from a young girl. I am putting an INCREDIBLE amount of TRUST and FAITH in the process. I have been told that adoption is a very emotional journey that people will never know until it is fully experienced. 

I have a image in my mind that thinks that I am going to have a beautiful little girl here at some point next year, enjoying Birthdays and Christmas holidays as a family.  But the truth of it is. Before I get to that point, I know that I will be struggling with a child that has been living in an orphanage all her life. She will have a routine, that much I recognize, but may not understand. She will speak Russian, I will speak English... Can you even imagine our plane ride home?? I have.. I have thought about so many things. One thing I think about more. Where my heart leads me every time. What if I didn't put the effort in. What if nobody cared. What if everyone turned their heads, and let children like Vika, and the 17 other kids with downs in the same orphanage just stay there, forever, in the baby house. Where they can only dream of having a family, playing with friends on a playground and Christmas dinners. When their real destiny would be a mental institute. Never having a chance at his/her dreams. 

 This is a journey of faith and trust. In my family, friends, community, powers more than myself. It is going to be a journey like no other. All the love to everyone who has supported me thus far. You have no idea how much it means to me!!

You will all be the first to know when I get the letter from my doctor! 
With  the faith that he will give the letter I need to move forward. I am mailing my homestudy application tomorrow morning. 

Goodnight all...

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