There are times in your life when you feel deep within your heart that something feels right. It is a feeling deep within you that feeds your heart with happiness. It is a feeling that you believe in, no matter how difficult, no matter how demanding something may be, you know that it is right. You know you have to follow your heart.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I never thought this would be an issue..

10 years ago today, I was sitting in my living room... actually, maybe in a hospital bed getting chemotherapy for APL. Regardless of where I was 10 years ago. It is here and now what matters most. Living day to day what makes me happy. Sometimes what brings me sadness. Yet, I found myself writing a letter to my physician asking him if he would put in writing what he told me almost ten years ago, that I would be able to live a long healthy life. It is essential that I get this letter to follow through with my homestudy. Without this approval, this "golden ticket" if you will. It will be difficult to get approval from a judge over in Russia for me to bring Vika home sometime next year. While I truly believe that this will not be an issue. It stills worries me that something from my past, something that I had no control over, no more I have control over you or I dying tomorrow. while I do understand the rationale, it jusr does not seem fair to me. Nonetheless, I am going to venture on, and work at raising money, little by little to complete my homestudy, and proceed on with the necessary steps.

I ask you all for your support throughout this journey. It is going to be long emotional one, I am sure. I am well on my way.

My letter to Dr. Olszanski:

October 13, 2010
Dear Dr. Olszanski,

I am not too sure you will remember me. As I know you see hundreds of patients a year.  But 10 years ago I was under the care of you for APL at DHMC Lebenon. I was only 24, and a single mom of a very young boy with Down Syndrome (whom coincidently had just got off the ventilator  4 months at DHMC when I was diagnosed). 

I had been wanting to write you a letter for a long time now. I was planning on doing it at my 10 year anniversary date of remission.  However, my selfish reasons have prompted me to write this letter a lot sooner.

In the last 10 years of my life I have done a lot of things. One of them I am most proud is that I have gone onto become a registered nurse. I have been doing that for just about 8 years now. I am working in the Concord Hospital Emergency Room in Concord, NH. By this I often work with a lot of residents, and get to see them grow as doctors over the four years they are at the hospital. I have had more than one of them ask what they think would make the patient happy. I always tell them to listen, and include the patient in the plan. I have always told them about you.  During my treatment at DHMC, whenever we had an appointment. You were always caring, knowledgeable, and a terrific listener. Having cancer changes you for life. It gives you a perspective on life you otherwise would never have. You are never “normal” again. However, each time after I had my appointments with you. You gave me that reassurance that I always wanted. That I was going to live a long normal life. It is a feeling that only an exceptional doctor like yourself can give a patient.

My letter I originally was going to write was going to thank you, and tell you how great of a doctor I always thought you were. But, my life has brought me down a road I never thought I would ever experience. I am currently in the process of adopting a young girl with Down Syndrome from Russia who is truly living on borrowed time as she will soon be committed to a mental institute next year. 

I have for a long time been discharged from the practice at DHMC. But am in need of a medical providers opinion that people that once lived with APL will go on to live a long normal life. I feel like a note from my PCP just is not good enough. But a letter from an experienced provider to make sure that there is not a hang up in bringing this special girl into my family. If this is something that you could do, willing to do. I would be eternally grateful.

With sincere gratitude,
Taryn L.Seybold
33A Merrimack Street
Concord, NH 03301
Please Visit my blog for my adoption, you may remember who I am:

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