It has been about 6 months since I have started thinking about adopting Vika. It has been a very emotionally challenging time for me. For so many reasons... I have been through a lot in my life, and I can honestly say, I do not think I have anything to compare it to. But through it all, the people that have understood how I am feeling, are people that are going through this journey themselves. It is stressful (for so many reasons) because of the money, If I were to wait til I had $30,000 on my own, Vika would be in a mental institute, where she would never have the ability to be loved, and to grow as a young girl. This is why I have turned to so many of you to support me throughout this journey.
But, for me.. I can honestly say that I don't hurt for just Vika, Anya, Sophie or Little B... because they are the lucky ones, they will soon have a forever family. But I hurt for all the other little children, that will never be able to have a forever family.
When I am feeling emotionally drained, I often find myself watching this video of a family who is actually over in Eastern Europe as I write this to bring their little girl home. It reminds me of the hope, and the happiness that is to come.. As Heather wrote in her blog:
"Every time I think about the millions of orphans in the world who won't ever have this opportunity, it hurts, so much more than it did before we saw it for ourselves. I want to find forever families for every single one of them. If only."
There are times in your life when you feel deep within your heart that something feels right. It is a feeling deep within you that feeds your heart with happiness. It is a feeling that you believe in, no matter how difficult, no matter how demanding something may be, you know that it is right. You know you have to follow your heart.