There are times in your life when you feel deep within your heart that something feels right. It is a feeling deep within you that feeds your heart with happiness. It is a feeling that you believe in, no matter how difficult, no matter how demanding something may be, you know that it is right. You know you have to follow your heart.

Friday, May 27, 2011

There will be resistance... Part 2

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act." Prov. 24:12

It is no secret that great things come to people that wait. It has always been said that thing that are hard to get, are well worth waiting for. Here I am, now 8 months into this journey, and I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am compiling my dossier (all the paperwork needed to bring Vika home), I am working at saving, and raising money to get her here. It has been no secret that I can not do this alone. I have had some AMAZING support over the last 8 months, and I have really developed some life long friendships. Friendships that I am so very thankful for. Little by little I am getting to the point that I need to be at to give Vika a home. With all the paperwork, and the  money... it is all happening before my eyes.

However, along the way, I have met some resistance. I have met people that do not agree with what I am doing. They think that I should be focusing all my attention all Nicholas, and that I am being selfish for bringing another little girl home that will need the same help that Nicholas needs. That Nicholas may be jealous, and he may not like her... then what??? They tell me that i can not expect my family will be of any help, and it is not  fair that I even expect them to help. These same people, they have not been a part of this journey, they have not once inquired what brought me to this decision, and where my heart is in this journey. 

I expect that they are not reading this, as if they were, they would have never made those comments to begin with.. but if there is any questions as to what I am thinking, and to what I am feeling... here you go...

My name is Taryn Seybold. I am 35 years old. I gave birth to my son Nicholas just over 15 years ago. When I was pregnant with Nicholas I did not know that he had Down Syndrome. When I was pregnant, I did not know how much my life was going to change after having a child. When I had Nicholas, I will never forget the room full of blank faces, staring at me, apologetically for having Nicholas. As if he had died the day he was born, as though he had no quality of life, and that he would be a burden to me. But what I can tell you about Nicholas... for ALL of you out there who have ever wondered, and thought that he was or has been a burden to me...For those of you who have wondered if I thought he would/should go to "A home", or be a 'Burden" .. I have NEVER been sorry one day in my life. I have never looked back and wished anything different. I have never wished Nicholas to be anyone but EXACTLY who he is. To me, he is a brave, courageous, beautiful young man. He is a person that who is not afraid to be EXACTLY who HE is,everyday of his life!!  A quality that many of lose at a very early age.. to me a quality that many of us could take a lesson in!  

To answer everyone's questions... YES .. having Vika home will be more work. It will be a lot more time invested in the kids. YES... she will be blessed to have a mother, and a brother... YES.. I will be blessed to have a daughter, and Nicholas a sister... YES... she will spend a life with  family, as opposed to in a lifetime in an orphanage, YES...I know it is a life time commitment.. I have not thought for one minute that this is going to be hairbows and dresses, and dress up fun with a little girl. YES.. I know it is a lot of work, double to what I have done thus far. YES... I am nervous, I am changing everything I have known for the last 15 years too. This change is good.. I wish people could see that the way I do, because when you are questioning me, and asking me to reconsider, and telling me I am being selfish, and inconsiderate, you are taking away from the happiness in this process. So I am kindly asking you to stop... YES.. Stop... I am always open to the support, and the kindness.. But I do not need any more negativity my way. 

To all of you who have supported me thus far... thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am so appreciative of you, and I couldn't be doing this without your support!!! 

No comments:

Post a Comment